INSTRUMENT MUSINGS

I started on a no-brand, brass E-flat sousaphone, during the summer after my 3^rd grade year. During the year, I played that sousaphone (of which I still have a photo), until the end of 4^th grade, when a brand new Conn 22K sousaphone showed up. I played that 2 years. In Jr. Hi (7^th and 8^th grade) I played a Conn 20J. Upon my arrival in Modesto, I played a Reynolds Contempora, 4 valve, forward facing bell. In the summer after my junior year, my teacher (Keating Johnson) helped me acquire a Meinl Weston Bill Bell Model 5 valve CC. I loved the ‘dual purpose’ 5^th valve, as that let me play (albeit somewhat compromisingly so) in BBb or CC, until I groked the CC fingerings. My first 3 years in college, I played that tuba until I moved into “Mirafone Country,” Los Angeles.

At the time (1975), Mirafone had their corporate offices in Sun Valley, Calif. All the LA cats (Roger, Jim, Tommy, Don) all played Mirafones, except for Randy Anglin who played a gold brass 163 Alex. Also, so did their students. I had the only non-Mirafone within hundreds of miles. By the spring of 1976, Tommy had picked out for me a 186, and the MW was gone. I believe Gary Buttery still has that tuba. After going to Disneyland and hearing John VanHouton play a 184 (and Bobo’s album had a HUGE influence on me), I had to get one. Also, I added a Yamaha 321S euph to my toolbox. CSUN had (and may still have) an old (OLD) Mirafone 183-4U Eb, which I ended up using when I needed a bass tuba. But really, I played everything on that old 184. I traded my Conn 62H trombone to Tommy Johnson for his Holton with in-line valves. Ultimately I sold that and got a beautiful King Duo Gravis, since I was not playing any orchestra or chamber music stuff with that horn; mostly shows. It was this instrument I used in my lessons with Loren Marsteller.

While playing a run of “Music Man” in San Jose (playing bass trombone and tuba). I auditioned for the San Jose Symphony. I played the entire list (Fantastique, Hungarian March, Petrushka, etc.) on my 184, except for “Symphonic Metamorphosis” and the Ride. I played Berlioz “Romeo and Juliet” on the 183, and Bydlo on the 321S.

After I got into the orchestra, I played most everything on the 186 (and the SF Ballet Orchestra), until I played a gold brass 188, which I purchased on the spot. There is an old Mirafone ad with me and that tuba in the Tuba Journal, dated around 1982-83.

I played one (and only one) gig with Floyd Cooley in the SF, after which he informed me that I couldn’t work with him because I sounded “too much like Roger Bobo.” It was YEARS later that Jeffrey Anderson let me sub for him a coupla times.

So after THAT disappointment, I figured I needed to get a Jake-o-phone. It was at this time I coined the phrase B.A.T. (big-assed-tuba).

I purchased my first 6/4 CC, a Yorkbrunner, when I flew to Sumiswald and picked one out of Peter Hirsbrunner’s shop. I had to go to Switzerland because Fred Marrich (@Custom Music) refused to sell me one. I got 2 of these (one that belonged to Mike Bunn). I played that wonderful tuba until the San Jose Symphony went bankrupt. I then opened the “Low Brass Werks” to figure out what I was going to do (I was only 40 something at the time). Since I was importing Gronitz’, I played a PCK and sold the tuba I bought in Switzerland to a great young player from LA (who’s name I have long forgotten). Alan Baer ended up with my PCK; I saw him play it once on TV.

When the orchestra started to offer real employment again, I bought one of Walter’s 6/4s, which I loved, until I didn’t. I sold that to get a MW Baer model (which Bo Atlas now has). I played a Yamayork and fell in love. I sold off 4 of my tubas to be able to purchase this tuba. After 2 years of struggling with the valves, and after a full refund, at the suggestion of Richard A. White, I bought an Adams. I love this tuba. BUT …..

I had purchased (over the past several years) a couple of Bruckners. The first one, I bought to play the ballet “Romeo and Juliet” in San Jose (I didn’t want to bring my Baer into the pit). Jim Self was here for that performance, and he told me that tuba was PERFECT for that situation. A friend and student of mine, Earl, needed a good tuba, so I sold him my Bruckner. Now Fred Tempas has this horn, as Earl bought a PT6 to match is B&S F. At this time, I asked Peter Hirsbrunner to make me an HB2 (the last tuba he made before he retired), so I bought another Bruckner to play until my HB2 arrived. When it did, I sold my Bruckner to Alex Lapins. I ended up selling that HB to a fellow here in San Jose to get a MW 5/4 rotary CC, which is now in Brazil. This is one of the 4 tubas I sold to get the Yamaha.

When I bought the Yorkbrunner in Switzerland, I went to take a couple lessons from Roger, since he was teaching there at the time. As soon as I took my new tuba out of the case, the first words out of his mouth were, “Be careful with that thing, those tubas have broken many careers” (or something to that effect). I had no idea what he was talking about. Until 2012.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with early onset task specific focal dystonia. When I went to Jan Kagarice to help me, she pointed to her file cabinet and said, “You see these files? They are all tuba players whom I have helped. They all have some things in common that got them to me, and one of which is that they all play 6/4 York-type tubas.” She was able to stem the dystonic tide against me, and I have been able to hold off the dystonia, until now. I have been working hard to lengthen may career (how may 71½ year olds still hold orchestra positions?).

Recently, I purchased (from Matt Walters @Dillon’s) another Bruckner. I have been using this tuba almost exclusively since, and I have never gotten so many compliments on my playing. Oddly, when I play the Bruckner, I am able to hold the dystonia at bay, not so much with the Adams.

I have always been a Mirafone guy.

a Biography for me

Tony Clements is an accomplished tubist, conductor, educator, and community music leader whose multifaceted career has enriched the musical life of the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. His journey as a musician is marked by decades of orchestral service, solo and chamber performances, ensemble direction, and tireless advocacy for the low brass community.

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Early Life and Musical Awakening

Born in 1954 and raised on Long Island, New York, Tony discovered the tuba at the age of seven, studying first with Julius Rubin and later with Bill Barber. As a teenager his family moved to California, where the relative shortage of local tuba teachers tested his resolve; much of his high school development happened through self-study and dedication. At 18, he spent a year in Ohio working with Gary Tirey, before returning to California to pursue formal musical training. He matriculated at University of the Pacific in Stockton, studied briefly at Stanislaus State, and eventually settled at California State University, Northridge, where he expanded his instrumental range—performing not just tuba but also bass trombone, euphonium, and bass trumpet—and studied under a lineup of distinguished low brass instructors such as Tommy Johnson, Jim Self, and Roger Bobo.

His training extended beyond instruments into ensemble leadership: while a student, he served as assistant conductor of the wind ensemble, led the tuba ensemble and new music group, and regularly played in brass and symphonic ensembles. He also participated in youth orchestral programs, gaining exposure to high-level symphonic standards and networking with peers who would later become colleagues. All these experiences laid the foundation for a professional life that would seamlessly weave performance, teaching, and ensemble building.

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Orchestral Tenure and Performance Highlights

In 1981, Tony won the principal tuba position at the San Jose Symphony. He would hold that role for two decades, even during times of financial upheaval and reorganization. When the San Jose Symphony ultimately reorganized, he continued his orchestral career as principal tubist and soloist with its successor, Symphony Silicon Valley.

Throughout and beyond his primary orchestral appointment, Tony worked regularly with the San Francisco Symphony, San Francisco Opera, San Francisco Ballet, Oakland Symphony, San Diego Symphony, Sacramento-based ensembles, and various West Coast orchestras. Among his favorite claims is that he has played The Nutcracker more than six hundred times, a testament to both his consistency and versatility.

As a soloist, Tony embarked on tours and recitals, bringing the tuba to audiences in Japan, Oregon, Arkansas, Pennsylvania, and beyond. During a 1988 tour with the Cal Poly Wind Ensemble, he performed the virtuosic Carnival of Venice multiple times and earned the affectionate nickname “Tuba-san.” He premiered new works for tuba and strings, and for euphonium and strings, collaborating with chamber orchestras to expand the repertoire for low brass. His performances of Vaughan Williams’ Concerto for Bass Tuba and Arthur Frackenpohl’s Concertino for Tuba & Strings are among the more prominent solo engagements in his later career.

Festival appearances have included summer residencies in Nevada City (Music in the Mountains), Santa Cruz (Cabrillo), San Luis Obispo, Lake Tahoe, Sandpoint, and other venues. He has also supported orchestras and productions in commercial settings—theme-park concerts, seasonal engagements, and collaborative projects that bring classical and popular traditions into local communities.

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Teaching, Conducting, and Ensemble Leadership

Even while deeply involved in orchestral and freelance work, Tony cultivated a strong parallel career as an educator and conductor. In 2001, he took up the baton of the Ohlone Wind Orchestra. Over the years he has led or assisted with youth symphonies, community bands, and campus ensembles, always aiming to bridge the gap between student learning and public performance.

In 2006, Tony was appointed Director of Bands at California State University, East Bay (formerly Cal State Hayward). Around the same time, he began leading ensembles at Ohlone College: the Ohlone Wind Orchestra, the Ohlone Community Band, and later the Mission Peak Brass Band. He also founded and directed the Ohlone Tuba Ensemble, giving tuba and euphonium players rare chamber opportunities in the Bay Area.

Through these ensembles he programs a wide range of literature, from wind band standards to contemporary works, brass band repertoire, and commissioned new music. His approach is pragmatic yet ambitious: rehearsals are rigorous, but he emphasizes clarity, mutual respect, and musical expression. He often treats his ensembles as learning laboratories—encouraging experimentation, guiding players, and nurturing leadership from within the group.

At Stanford University, Tony has taught applied tuba and brass ensemble coaching. His private studio is a fixture of the Bay Area low brass scene; he regularly gives masterclasses and workshops for regional and national audiences. Many of his students have gone on to orchestral, academic, and community positions, carrying forward the technical command and musical flexibility he champions.

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Artistic Vision, Philosophy & Resilience

Tony’s philosophy as a musician is grounded in musical honesty, adaptability, and service. He views his role not only as a solo or orchestral voice, but as a facilitator of ensemble success: tone, intonation, responsiveness, and communication matter as much as individual virtuosity.

In his writing and public reflections, he repeatedly argues for preparation and punctuality; his oft-quoted rule is that if you are early, you are on time—if you are on time, you are late. He also shares hands-on technical advice—on mouthpieces, instrument maintenance, valve porting, dent repair—drawing from years of experience.

His personal life has included significant health challenges: he has undergone hip replacement surgery and has recovered from a heart attack. Despite these obstacles, he has continued to lead rehearsals (sometimes from a stool) and fulfill ensemble commitments, drawing on discipline and a supportive community to persevere.

Tony’s blog is a place where he mixes technical discussion, personal reflection, musical commentary, and occasional candidness about the life of the working musician. He has developed a reputation as someone who tells it like it is, balancing the romanticism of music with the gritty realities: instrument failures, schedule logistics, fatigue, and maintaining momentum through hard seasons.

He has also shown entrepreneurial initiative: in addition to musical positions, he has worked as an instrument demonstrator (notably for Wessex Tubas), advised players on equipment choices, and nurtured connections in the low brass marketplace. His “Soup Can” mouthpiece design is among the more whimsical but technically minded features he has discussed publicly.

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Significant Projects & Musical Legacy

Over his career, Tony has been involved in many notable projects. Among them:

• The Japan solo tour of 1988, where he introduced Carnival of Venice to multiple audiences and earned regional recognition.

• New-work premieres in Chamber settings (six works for tuba + strings in 1999, three for euphonium + strings), expanding the repertoire for low brass.

• Regular cycles of major solo works like the Vaughan Williams Bass Tuba Concerto and Frackenpohl Concertino, which draw attention to the artistic potential of tuba as a concerto instrument.

• Leadership at Ohlone College, where his ensembles present polished programs each season—often featuring cross-ensemble collaborations, guest soloists, and commissioned works.

• Founding and sustaining the Ohlone Tuba Ensemble, which remains one of the few dedicated low-brass chamber ensembles in the U.S.

• Service as President of AFM Local 153.

• Contributions to the low brass community at large, through teaching, outreach, and sharing of technical insights online, influencing players well beyond his immediate circle.

His influence is visible not only in the students he has trained, but in the vitality of the local wind, brass, and low-brass ecosystem. He has strengthened the musical fabric of his region by making high-level ensemble experiences accessible to students, amateur players, and community members alike.

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Personal Interests, Character & Community

Outside of music, Tony is a person of wide-ranging interests and deep community engagement. He rides motorcycles, camps, enjoys model trains, plays chess, and stays active in local vintage softball leagues—often coaching or organizing teams. He also loves the companionship of his dogs and values time with family and friends. These activities reflect his energetic, hands-on, and people-centered approach to life.

In personality, Tony is known for his honest, humorous, and approachable style. He shares what he knows freely—whether that’s a repair trick, a rehearsal tip, or a lesson learned from a health setback. He blends musical seriousness with personal warmth, and his leadership style often centers on clear expectations, steady consistency, and mutual respect.

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Forward & Continuing Work

As Tony moves forward in his musical journey, his ongoing commitments include sustaining and innovating the ensemble programs at Ohlone, commissioning new works for tuba and euphonium, mentoring young players, and maintaining his performance activities with Symphony Silicon Valley and other Bay Area groups.

He continues to blog and speak publicly about the working life of a musician, and to participate in workshops, festivals, and conferences. His vision remains rooted in connecting musical excellence with community and education—ensuring that serious music-making remains accessible, inclusive, and alive in the region he calls home.

Tony Clements stands as a model of musical versatility, resilience, and service: a tubist who never left behind the ensemble, a conductor who speaks from instrumental experience, and a teacher who believes deeply in passing forward not only technique but the love of music.

Words of wisdom

As a seasoned, certified, old fart, here is some wisdom I have tried to impart to all of my students. I have not always been successful, but I have tried.

 

1 - Get to rehearsal ahead of time. If a 7:00 rehearsal, get there BEFORE 6:30. DO NOT come strolling in at 5 to 7. “If you are early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are late. If you are late, YOU’RE FIRED!” – Roger Bobo

2 – Take responsibility for your gear and music. It is YOUR responsibility to keep track of your stuff. Is the part muted? You better have one, and ensure it works in your horn for the notes you actually have to play.

         2a – Never, EVER tell a conductor you lost your music. As soon as you discover it missing, work with the librarian to get it replaced. Borrow the other guy’s music and get it duplicated IMMEDIATELY, don’t wait a few days to see if it shows up.

3 – ALWAYS wear the right clothes. Look great, don’t worry what the other guys are doing. EVERY concert, look your best. Clothes cleaned and pressed, and shoes polished. Make sure your sox match. If necessary, go buy a new shirt. 

    3a – ALWAYS keep a bow tie and a long tie in your black jacket pocket. Sometimes they change dress code and you don’t want to be the only guy with the wrong tie; it looks terrible. In the REAL music business, looks matter. If you aren’t sure what the dress code is, ask the personnel manager or contractor for clarification.

4 – At rehearsals, warm up and put your horn down. NOTHING is more amateurish than to hear players trying to play excerpts. At rehearsal, or performances you are NOT practicing; you are reinforcing bad habits. Playing excerpts on stage is BUSH; just don't do it! Practice at home!

5 – Don’t get involved in politics. Show up, play your horn, go home. "Keep your head down, and mouth shut.” In a professional situation, you need to EARN your tenure. Management needs NO EXCUSE to let you go before you get your tenure.

6 – Keep your horn clean and in GREAT working order. A beat-up horn indicates that the musician is sloppy. The way you care for your gear, will be reflected in your playing; it’s a sign of striving for excellence, and it shows respect for our craft. Without fail, when I see a player with a beat up instrument (unless it is done for comic effect), their playing is riddled with flaws.

7 – Don’t talk to a conductor at rehearsal unless it is a real (not imagined) emergency. The MD (Music Director) has a lot more to worry about, than your personal issues, at rehearsals. Email or call later.

    7a - Don’t ask questions at rehearsal. Figure it out yourself. Read my blog “No Good Questions," (https://tonyclem.blogspot.com/2011/04/no-good-questions.html) on this.

8 – Practice with your mute. Except for the bagpipes, NOTHING sounds worse than a euphonium or tuba player struggling with a mute because they didn’t know if it works properly in the instrument.

9 – ALWAYS have your own set of parts. Even if you know that there will be music at your rehearsal, have your own music. I have shown up MANY times and the librarian didn’t have music, or they expected you to bring your practice parts. If you don’t have the right music, who’s fault is it? YOURS!!! You are the one who looks like a knothead because you don’t have music. With all of the online resources, there is no excuse for not being able to secure the music you need.

And MOST of all:

10 - ALWAYS live up to your commitments. If you tell someone you are going to play for them, play for them. Do not ever go back on your word. The person who asked you, wants YOU involved in their event. Once you earn the reputation of bailing on gigs, you will find yourself NOT being called in the future. An exception here: If you find yourself with a conflict, for the original event, find a sub (who is available for ALL services) who plays BETTER THAN YOU. Before committing that person, call the person who engaged you (personnel manager, conductor, contractor, etc) and say this, "I am so sorry, but I have found myself with a conflict. I have found <so and so> to substitute for me? They can play all the services for which I was engaged. Would it be ok if I sent him/her?" If they hesitate at all, say, "Thank you. I will send my sub to the other gig. I will be at all services for which you originally engaged me."

I am certain there are others, but with my current state of CRS disease, I may have left one or 2 out.

As always, I encourage and welcome your input below.

Why I hate the 24AW tuba mouthpiece

Over the years, I have had more than a few conversations about the 24AW mouthpiece. Maker (brand) doesn’t matter; Bach, Faxx, Blessing, Jupiter, who EVER. This is the WORST tuba mouthpiece. Under NO circumstances should anyone ever play on this thing. A little history first:

 

In the Vincent Bach catalog, originally printed in the 1950s (I think) listed their 24AW mouthpiece as “a good beginner mouthpiece.” So all the mouthpiece makers saw this and decided to make one of their own (cheaper, too!). WRONGO!  Here’s why:

 

1 – The rim inner diameter: is WAY too small for any application. This would be good for a bass tuba or a solo mouthpiece IF:

 

2 – The cup is WAY too deep. To make up for the constricted sound that is accomplished by the small inner rim diameter, they designed the cup depth to compensate for this being a too small mouthpiece.

 

3 – The rim is too wide. Wide cushioned rims, while may be comfortable for playing, they inhibit lip flexibility. All well designed mouthpieces are a balance between a wide rim and a narrow rim. As a ‘beginner’ mouthpiece, (assuming for a smaller person or a child) they fill up their whole face!! Too wide. And lastly:

 

4 – The throat is HUGE! Again, to make up for the narrow diameter, to get the air through the darned thing, they make the throat too big. Check it out, you can drop a pencil through it! For a beginner, it sucks the wind right out of them.

 

4 strikes – YER OUT!!!

 

Anyone who comes to my place for lesson with one of these, I confiscate and they get to choose one out of my collection (with a recommendation, of course).

 

Feel free to disagree in comments below.

So, What do YOU listen to?

Recently, I was having a conversation with an adult student of mine. Eventually, the discussion came around to listening to music for entertainment &/or enjoyment. The student assumed that I listened to the classics: Mozart, Mahler, Milhaud. He was surprised when I told him I never listen to classical for entertainment. Because when I am at work, I am surrounded by the wonderful classics to which I am exposed on a weekly basis, when I sit down to listen, my tastes go elsewhere. So, what kind of music DO I listen to? I went to my phone, and opening the music app, I hit “Recently Played.” Here’s what I found:

Smashing Pumpkins: Rotten Apples. Coming late to the party, I really love the Pumpkins.

Blood, Sweat & Tears: Live and Improvised. Dave Bargeron’s tuba solo on “One Room Country Shack,” is tuba history.

Taj Mahal: The Real Thing. With 4 tubas on this album, is it any wonder?

Dave Brubeck: Take 5. With the huge Jazz deficiency in my music education, it is a small wonder I am ALWAYS fascinated by the DB Quartet.

Billboard’s Greatest Hits of the 1960s. I am drawn to music from 1965-1972. No question, this is MY music! Sirius Channel 73, too!

Chase: Ennea. The greatest trumpeters EVER!

Iron Butterfly: Inna-gadda-da-vida. Ron Bushy is my hero, but I love the B side, too!

Cream: Wheels of Fire. One word – CLAPTON. And who DOESN’T love 16'16" of Ginger Baker’s best?

Led Zepplin III – Need I say more?

Bobo: Gravity is Light today. I NEVER tire of Yellow Bird.

Jim Self: Tricky Lix. Ya gotta ask?

Classical indulgences:

Anthony Newman & Friends: The Brandenburg Concertos. Take a listen.

LA Phil, Mehta: The Planets. Know why? Saturn.

Tomita: Pictures at an Exhibition

Wendy (Walter) Carlos: The Well-tempered Synthesizer

Pat Sheridan: Lollipops. Ya gotta ask?

Enjoy!!

As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.

Advice for buying and selling tubas (and other brass instruments)

Friends,

I have been buying and selling tubas for over 40 years. Here are some tips for you to get the most for your instrument, and to make it more marketable:

1 - Clean the darned thing! Once, I bought a tuba that smelled SO bad, I threw it in my pool and let it sit there for an hour. Still, I had to have it cleaned. Please, a good sonic cleaning will do your sale a WORLD of good!
2 - Get the dents taken out. A dented up tuba means you have not taken very good care of your instrument. I wouldn't even CONSIDER tuba that is dented up for my playing needs; unless I was planning on making it into a fountain, or flower pot.
3 - Get the valves ported. You cannot IMAGINE the difference this makes in it's playability. I have played many tubas that played badly, UNTIL I ported the valves.
4 - If you are not going to do a THOROUGH cleaning (see #1 above), at LEAST clean out the lead pipe and all the valve and tuning slides. PLEASE.
5 - If you are including a case (which does not increase the instrument's value, really), please make sure it is clean, inside and out. If your pet has made its home (nest) in it, just burn the sucker, and don't bother trying to pass it along.
6 - Including a mouthpiece does not really make the instrument more desirable; we all have our favorite mouthpiece. If you DO include a mouthpiece, for gosh sake, clean it out! NO ONE wants to see a year's worth of lunches in the throat. And round the shank, too.
7 - Be willing to negotiate, and take trades. This will make your instrument more desirable. We all love our tubas. Many times we (and I include myself here), over value what our tuba is worth. Buyers might not think as highly of that particular instrument. And as far as trades, who knows, the trade-in might really suit your needs. OR you might be able to sell it (the trade) for more than you took in trade (think of an automobile trade-in).
8 - Be willing to travel. I met a guy in Colorado once to get a tuba; he was from Ohio. We met 1/2 way.

My 2¢ worth; I hope this helps.

As always, your comments are welcome and encouraged.

Want to get better? Do this ....

Over my 41+ years of teaching in San Jose, I have been asked many many times, "What can I do to get better?" Well, here is my simple answer. I call it my 

Daily Routine for Sustained Improvement

 

1 – Long Tone Routine

2 – Lip Slur Routine

3 – 3- (or 5-) note patterns

4 – Scales

      Major 3 octaves

      Minor (2 octaves)

            Relative

            Harmonic

            Melodic

5 – Legato study (i.e. Bordogni, Rochut, anything legato)

            Normal tuba register

            Octave lower

6 – Kopprasch 

7 – Tyrell

8 – Blazevich

9 – Music for auditions

            Solos

            Excerpts

Try it, IT WORKS!

Enjoy!

Train Blog, December 21, 2021

Aboard the California Zephyr, Train #6

As you all know, I LOVE train travel. If I hit the lotto, I am going to buy a personal train car and live on the train. Some people retire, and live aboard a cruise ship; not me. It’s on the train, Brother. In these new normal times, things aboard are bit different. Not only is everyone masked, but train service is different than it was. The whole crew seems to be on edge. There is no real feeling that they WANT you to have an enjoyable journey. I felt like I was putting the crew out get salad dressing, or my bed made up. They seemed to have trouble getting me a DIET Coke. Staying in the “H” room (look it up), I hit the attendant call button, and the guy NEVER showed up. Lunch is first come, first served. By the time I made my way to the dining car, there was 28 people ahead of me; I ate at 1:20. The next day, I showed up at the appointed hour (noon), and rudely was told to wait outside. When I sat in an empty bedroom waiting for the diner to open, the conductor chewed me out. Normally, for dinner, they come by your room to get your reservation; the person who did that never showed up. I had to ask my car attendant (Chris, I always get their name) to bring me my dinner. One of the things I love about train travel is meeting people over a leisurely dinner. I missed out on that.

The last trip I took (March 2021), all of the food, while tasty, was pre-packaged and microwaved. It was nice to see they had chefs on board and they are cooking meals fresh again. BACK on the menu is the perennial “crappy side salad.” Even though I have changed my eating regime, the portions are small; I’ll have to bring snacks next time. One odd thing: the menu had no prices on it. When I asked, I was told, “Only sleeping car passengers eat in the dining car.” I guess, since meals are included, no prices are needed. However, if you are in coach, your only meal choice is to get something (microwaved) from the café car. Imagine vending machine food, or food you can get in a gas station freezer; prepackaged chips, cookies, baked goods and the like. You get the idea.

Once more, I was glad I had my toolkit aboard. The door on my room was one of those heavy metal sliding things. When the train took a left hand turn, the door slid closed, and SLAMMED on the door jamb; right turn, it slammed open. Thank God for 3M duct tape. While I could not really get my room temperature right, I did NOT (for a change) have to duct tape over the air vents. In fact, at one point in time, I had to remove one of my shirts as it got too hot in my room.

They are really serious about the masking (thankfully), and get right on you if you are unmasked. Last night, a woman was PUT OFF THE TRAIN because she refused to wear a mask. Good for Amtrak!

While I really love train travel, this trip was not so good. Hopefully, the next one will be better.

A story to tell ...

 ... so, years ago (in a galaxy far, far .... nononono), as a student at Cal State Northridge, there came a time when I needed a bass trombone. Most guys were playing Conn 62Hs, or Holton 180s or Bach 50Bs. It was well know that Larry Minick was making GREAT trombones. He put the valves in line, hand hammered the bells and made incredible slides. So I went to his shop to ask (PLEAD) with him to make me a trombone. As he was the master, and extremely busy, he agreed to put me on his (THEE) list. Then came the news of the cost. Now bear in mind, this was the late 1970's and I was making 2 bucks ($2) an hour in the music store. The cost: $1,200 (plus $72 sales tax); do the math (1,272÷2). 612 hrs to pay for this horn. I was freelancing some at the time (35 buck church gigs) and more money than this came in, but it was GOING to be hard. So, I gave him a $500 down payment (after finagling a couple tuba sales). I figured I had time. I saved my money as I could and awaited the arrival of my custom built Minick version of the Conn 62H; gold brass bell, 2 valves in-line as was all the rage. Tuning in the bell. I wondered about that, but no one EVER questioned Larry's designs. Bach and Holton were making bass trombones with 10" bells at the time (maybe they still do?). He once made a 71H with a 12" bell (yes, TWELVE inches). Apparently, he cut the bell off a Conn french horn and crazy glued it (not really) onto a bass trombone. I walked into the shop and asked, "What the heck is that?" Simply, he said, "If bigger is better, mine's the best." I hear JJ Johnson ended up with that horn, but who knows? He once took a 72H and grafted a THIRD valve onto it, in line! It looked cool as hell, but weighed almost as much as my Mirafone 180-5U F tuba! Anyway, the day came and a phone call from Larry, "Clements? Horn's Done." CLICK. (Typical call from Larry). YIKES! I still owed him about $600 and I didn't have the scratch. Sheepishly, I went to his shop with about $37. I said, "Larry, this is all I got." If you need to sell the horn to someone else, go ahead, I understand. I'll get the next one." He said, "Take it and pay me when you can. And if you EVER tell anyone, I'll kick your ass, and take the horn back." I was shocked. I knew under that gruff exterior beat a heart of gold, but *I* never saw it. Here it was. I sent him $5, $17, whatever I had after paying my bills and ONE DAY, I paid it off. IN FULL. I jumped for joy when I got his invoice labelled "PAID IN FULL" in big red letters.

Jump ahead a few years. I was playing SJ Symphony and freelancing all over the bay area and doing some soloing with college bands.  I had a wonderful bright young student who was studying bass trombone with me. There came a time where HE needed an instrument. Remembering the kindness Minick showed me, I sold this trombone to the student for exactly what I paid for it $1,200. He went on to have a terrific career and is a well known personality in the Los Angeles Area. If he lets me, I'll tell his name later.

So, why am I telling you this now? I got asked to play "The Nutcracker" this week (12/9-12), bass trombone. I sold my Shires years ago and got a King Duo Gravis just in CASE I had to play bass bone somewhere. This is NOT a symphonic trombone. In my efforts to find an appropriate instrument, I called around. I got two instruments delivered today, one was a trial and was expected. I had NO idea what the second box could be. Upon opening the box, there was an OLD Conn trombone case. What do you supposed was in the case? Yep. The Minick. 

I wept.

Baseball Blog.

 Why I’m not watching Baseball Anymore.

I have been a lifelong baseball fan. My dad took me to my first MLB game at the Polo Grounds. The Mets played there and my favorite player, Joe Christopher, was patrolling center field. We sat RIGHT behind him. At one point in time, I yelled out (during the in between innings), “HEY JOE!” He turned and waved. I almost jumped out of my skin! 1962, and I remember it like it was yesterday. After that game, my dad took me to some games in the Bronx, and when Shea opened, we went to several games in Flushing. As wonderful as those times were, it was not like the time Joe Christopher waved to me.

Since that time, I have always loved baseball. I love everything about the game. I love the mano-a-mano, when a great pitcher faces a great hitter. Get ‘em on, get ‘em over, get ‘em in. “Hit it where they ain’t.” Rickey Henderson causing absolute chaos on the base paths. Reggie’s 3 home runs on three pitches. Kirk Gibson. The Ryan Express (and his 7 no hitters). Mark McGwire’s 70 HR season. I know it was steroid induced, but you can’t duplicate THAT kind of excitement in America’s Pastime.

So, why I have I turned my back on baseball? Let me count the ways:

1 – Rules Changes. 

It started with no 4 pitches for an intentional walk. If the defense wants to walk the batter, they simply wave him over to first. How many times, during an IBB did the pitcher throw the ball away, and the runner got to 2^nd? Or the pitch was too close, and the batter hit the ball anyway?

Mound visits. OK, I understand that many managers go to the mound too many times. There was already SOME kind of limit; 2 times, and you yank the pitcher. But it was all part of the strategy, PLUS it gave your reliever a few more pitcher to get ready. Now only THREE times for the entire game? Don’t tell me “pace of game.” You want to speed up the game? Cut the commercials.

Play review. This is a GREAT addition. Yes, it slows the game, but isn’t it all about getting the call right? BUT, how come only SOME plays can get reviewed? Either everything gets reviewed, or nothing gets reviewed.

Double headers. This fries my cookies. Double headers are now 7-inning affairs. What the hell? Are not these guys professional athletes? Aren’t they young and in tip top shape? Hell, I play a senior softball league (60+, some are 80!), we play 7 inning double headers 3-4 days a week. AND we stay for batting practice some days. And the worst:

In extra innings, the offense starts with a guy on 2^nd. What the hell is THAT? Is this a ‘pace of game’ thing, or what?

Coming – the pitch clock. What is this, basketball??

        Also coming - banning the shift? WTF? If the players shift on ya, hit (or bunt) it the other way. Aren't you a professional hitter? In my senior softball league, we have guys that hit the ball all over the field. For cryin' outloud.

2 – Three True Outcomes

There is no more action in baseball. These guys have forgotten how to play the game.  Over THIRTY FIVE PERCENT (35%) of the time, the result of an at bat is a home run, walk or a strikeout. Everybody swings for the fences, even the little guys who would get on base, and make something happen. The ball parks are smaller, and everybody wants to be Hank Aaron, making the big swing. HEY MLB, home runs are boring. No action, nothing happens. You see too much of a thing, and it gets mundane, like homeruns. ALL MLB fences should be 400’. A big-league slugger should be able to hit the ball 400’. If not, we see the game we all used to love. Walk, walk, strike out, strike out, home run, zzzzzzzzzz. I’m going home.

3 – Selfish Assholes.

Sadly, the ball players of today are not that concerned with winning. It is all about personal stats, so they can negotiate that big contract. No team loyalty. It’s all about who’s gonna pay me more. Lindor turned down an offer from the Mets for 10 years, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE Million dollars. $325,000,000 ($32.5M per year) is not enough? For God’s sake, how much money do you need? Poor guy, he had to settle for $350M, for 10 years. Watch, he’ll get hurt and end up sitting on the bench for the second 5 years of his contract, mark my words. Which leads me to:

4 – Too Many Injuries

With all these experts and the HUGE investment in ball players, can’t MLB figure out how to train these guys, so they can stay on the field? Think about the players of yore, who went out there despite crippling injuries (JR Richard, Mantle, Koufax). I bet Pete Rose was out there with EVERYTHING hurting. These guys are such PUSSIES that they bench themselves for an upset stomach, or “shoulder tightness,” or a hangnail. These big boppers pump so much iron to build up strength (for the long ball, see above), that they are fragile and get hurt with an odd swing, or running to first. Stanton ($30M per year) only plays 4 days a week, only DHs, and is hitting under .200 (as of April 2021). This guy is as fragile as porcelain.

5 – Too much Advertising (see #3 above)

Now that MLB is paying these obscene salaries to fragile ballplayers, SOMEone has to pay for it. If you watch a game on TV, the outfield wall is PLASTERED with advertising. Behind home plate has computer generated ads, with the ball players masked over the green screened ads. You are BOMBARDED with advertising. While the next batter approaches the plate, the broadcast splits the screen, so an ad can get thrown up there before the pitch. Ads run constantly on the bottom of the screen. They talk about ‘pace of game.’ Want to speed up the game? Cut the between commercials BACK to 2 minutes; that’ll speed up the game. Also, this year (2021) all the uniforms have the Nike “swish” near the right shoulder. Every time the camera shows a guy, there is the Nike logo, I think “NIKE,” which is what they intended. And that leads me to:

6 – Actually ATTENDING the game …

… has gotten SO expensive, that it has to be put into the family budget, or one has to have a lot of disposable income or work for a company that has season tickets. In S.F., PARKING is $50! Forget about the $10 beers, $7 hotdogs and the cost of everything else AT the ballpark. I won’t get into ticket costs. After paying all this money, IF your favorite player is playing, there is a GREAT chance he will strike out a couple of times or be walked. I went to a Giants/Cardinal game in SF once. I went to StubHub and paid WAY too much for tickets in great seats to see Albert Pujols play; he wasn’t in the lineup. He PH in the 7^th inning, 3 pitches, K. Sit down, Albert. Yeah, we’re paying those bloated salaries, too.

7 – Absolutely MISERABLE Umping.

Go to YouTube and do a search for MLB Worst Umpires. It boggles my mind how some of these guys are still working. If I made 1% of the mistakes these guy make, I’d NEVER get paid to play the tuba again. Look up CB Bucknor, or Angel Hernadez, or Joe West. Hernandez just sued MLB because he didn’t get offered to UMP in the post season. Case got thrown out of court. Hey Angel, YOU STINK! THAT’S why you didn’t get asked. Now these guys think they can act with impunity (like cops), and they are now INSTIGATING incidents, and they eject ballplayers for giving it back to them. In baseball, umpires should be invisible, NOT effecting the outcome of the game. And it's time for the robo-ump calling balls and strikes. MLB - just DO IT!

So, dear readers, this is why I won’t be watching baseball on TV, attending any games, purchasing MLB gear, or supporting MLB in any way or fashion. 

Do you want to watch the game the way it is supposed to be played? With 100% commitment, love & joy, with all-out effort, teamwork and excellence? Watch Women’s College Softball. That’s the way the game is SUPPOSED to be played.

As usual, your comments are welcome and encouraged.