No Good Questions

The older I get, the more convinced I am that there are no good questions to ask during rehearsals. Consider, if you will, commonly heard questions asked in rehearsal:

1 – “What note do I have in measure X?” REALLY? You have to ask that question? What’s everyone else playing? If someone else is playing an F#, and you have an F♮, play F#. If that doesn’t work, look at your section mates’ parts. What are they playing? What’s the group playing? If it’s D major chord, play F#, if it’s D minor, play F. If I think I have a wrong note, the first thing I do is look at the trombone parts. If that’s no help, I look at the bass part, then the bassoon part. If you really can’t figure it out, check out the conductor’s score AT BREAK, or after rehearsal. Don’t waste everyone’s time with a note check, really.

2 – “Are you in 2 or 4 there?” Again, REALLY? If the conductor’s motions are generally up & down, I’d guess 2. If there is some side-to-side movement, I’d guess 4. If he* is in one speed, and then suddenly changes speed by a factor of 2, roughly, figure he’s changed from one to the other. If that’s not enough information, ask the tuba player. He isn’t doing anything but watching anyway. He’ll know.

*In this narrative, I use the masculine for the nameless conductor. There is no gender implication here; it is simply for convenience.

2a – “How fast are you going there?” Aren’t you watching? Go with the stick. If you can’t get it, go with the principal of your section, or the concertmaster.

2b – “What’s my dynamic at …. ?” What’s the guy next to you got? What’s the rest of the section have? What’s the rest of the group doing? Is the conductor conducting big, or small? If none of these help, look at the score, at the break. A good rule of thumb is blend with the group.

2c - "What's the bowing at ... ?" Really, you have to waste the whole orchestra's time with this? What's your section principal doing? If you can't tell, look at the concertmaster. Man, if I had a buck for every minute wasted on bowing discussions, I could retire now. Besides, isn't this supposed to be figured out ahead of time? If not, is this a discussion that can take place at the break?

3 – “Are you changing speeds there?” Well, DID he? If he did, he probably will again. If not, he probably won’t. Aren’t you watching? Even so, he may do it differently each time. Just watch. Forget about what’s in, or what’s not in the part. Parts are wrong all the time. If you honestly can’t figure it out, sit out one pass through that section and see what everyone else does. Go with the group.

4 – “How long do you want the notes there?” This one is only HALF bad, because sometimes it is hard to tell. I always listen to the first trumpeter. If I do what he does, 99% of the time, I’m in good shape. If the trumpets aren’t playing, I listen to first trombone, or first bassoon, or the basses, or the celli. Or … I do what the concertmaster is doing. There is nothing wrong with going with the principal violin (or principal clarinet in the band).

5 – “Someone (or some section) is playing a wrong note (or wrong note length) at …” REALLY? Do YOU want someone telling YOU that you are screwing up? The conductor will figure it out, or he can’t, or won’t. Still, it’s HIS job. Keep it to yourself.

6 - Recently heard at a professional orchestra engagement: "Is the (section brass part) supposed to be muted there?" SERIOUSLY? What is the rest of the section doing? If they ARE muted, use your mute. If not, don't. If there is a question, don't mute. Wait for the conductor (or section leader) to ask for it. Do we have to interrupt a rehearsal for this question?

7 - "Can we play at letter X one more time?" C'mon! You are going to waste everyone's time so you can learn your part? Also, this points out that you are unprepared. Practice at home; that's what You Tube is for.

At recording sessions, never, EVER point out that you made a mistake, EVER! What’s the point? It’s the conductor’s job to hear clams, or the recording engineer. Make like Yo-Yo Ma, you played everything perfectly. USUALLY, you are the only one that heard the mistake. Don’t WORRY about it. You could be costing everyone (producers, etc.) tons of dough to make another pass at that section, PLUS you are pointing out to the contractor that you messed up. You just might not get that call next time. Clam up on the clams. Someone is making a helluva lot more money than you to make sure the performance is clean. Let THEM worry about it. You have ENOUGH on your plate when the red light is on.

These are a few, I am sure there are others. As always, I welcome & encourage your comments.