"Star Wars" Musings

Everybody has opinions about “Star Wars.” Here are MY thoughts:

I LOVE STAR WARS. Everything about it. ALL the movies, toys, Legos, fan events, EVERYTHING. Need a couple hours to kill? A New Hope is at hand, or Empire Strikes Back.

I went to OPENING NIGHT in 1977 with my dear friend, Vic Steelhammer. It was the summer and we were both working at Marriott’s Great America, an amusement park in Santa Clara, California, as musicians. We went to the Oakridge Theaters in a nearby mall. It was Vic & I, and about 30 other people. I remember walking out thinking, “What the heck was that?” It was just a swashbuckling, space movie; and WHO GETS THE GIRL? Little did I suspect what a society-changing event I had attended. I liked it but had many questions. Vic and I suspected it was left open for sequels (DUH!). But I WAS HOOKED! I never got into action figures (who knew what they would be worth now?), books, trading cards, toys or other merchandise. I could not WAIT for Episode 5 (or would they work BACKWARDS to Episode 3?). I stood in line for tickets and seats for EVERY film after that. Needless to say, I am a fan in every sense of the word. Having said THAT, I in no way, think the films are perfect, or in some cases better than average. So, here are my musings:

Episode IV – PERFECT, but who gets the girl? Carrie Fischer – WOW! Who is this Harrison Ford? And what the heck is a Wookie? Droids, space fights, discovering “The Force,” Death Star blowing up. YIKES, what a ride! Hated Obi-Wan dying, though. DARTH VADER! The BADDEST bad guy ever!

Episode V – How can you NOT like Lando? All this talk about Yoda, did ANYONE think that little green Muppet was the great Jedi Master? What a GREAT surprise! And all the space battles and VEHICLES!! When Luke first uses The Force to get his light saber out of the snow…

Episode VI – Luke a Jedi? LOVED Jabba! I was sorry the re-make of IV put him in; when I first saw Episode VI, I was COMPLETYELY surprised by his appearance. The rescue of Solo, “Someone who loves you!” Waaaaaaah, I was in tears! The pure evil of the Emperor and the salvation of Darth Vader! What GREAT writing.

Episode I – Jake Lloyd, REALLY? This kid was supposed to be the Chosen One. What terrible acting, no real screen presence and stiff, stilted acting. Not at ALL believable. There have been some GREAT child actors (think Billy Mumy and Ron Howard). Ya mean with all those stage door mothers, they couldn’t find a kid that sparkles on screen? REALLY? Oye. Don’t get me started about Jar-Jar Binks. I couldn’t believe this waste of screen time. My only thought was, like Yoda, maybe this guy is a Jedi Master. I could only hope. Darth Maul was bad ass, and I really hated seeing Qui-Gon dying, I like Liam Neeson.

Episode II – Like Jake Lloyd, Hayden Christiansen was JUST AWFUL. AND I couldn’t stand all of his whining and his complete inability to follow the directions of his mentor. Had I been Obi-Wan, I’da bounced Anakin; he was a loser. Really more trouble than he was worth. Let Mace Windu train him, the crybaby! How come NONE of the Jedi Masters could tell Emperor Palpatine was a Sith? And what would EVER possess Amidala to allow Jar-Jar to sub for her in the Senate? There was NO ONE more qualified than that dope? UnBELIEVable.

Episode III – I had high hopes for this, wishing against wish that Christiansen would be better. NOPE! More of the same whining and insubordination. I couldn’t understand why the Jedi Council didn’t just drop kick him out of the program.  Yeah, yeah, then we wouldn’t have a movie. But do SOMETHING that makes sense. And still, NO ONE senses Palpatine is a Sith. LOVED Amidala’s clothes, though. Great battles and what a wonderful turn of events when the clones turned on the Jedi. Who expected THAT? Great tie-in to Episode IV, with Leia going to Organa, and Luke going to Tatooine, under Obi-Wan’s watchful eye.

Episode VII – Loved Finn. BB-8 – another stupid droid. Cute but unnecessary to the plot. They couldn’t find another way to get the map to Leia? Sorry Daisy, completely unbelievable as a hero. With NO TRAINING WHATSOEVER, she can hold her own against Kylo Ren. A trained Jedi/Sith and a scavenger with NO TRAINING can keep him at bay? I am all for female heros, but they have to be believable; Rey was not. Could not STAND Kylo’s moronic emotional outbursts. It was GREAT seeing Chewy and Han back aboard the Millennium Falcon. LOVED Maz Kanata. STARKILLER BASE? If it is a whole planet, how do they AIM the thing? And after the resistance blew up TWO Death Stars, the First Order couldn’t figure out how to protect the StarKiller base? Ben Killing Han ….. Waaaaaaaaah. Crying again!

Episode VIII – Luke throwing the light saber over his shoulder – BRILLIANT! I really liked the way the First Order relentlessly pursued the resistance and drained their fuel reserves. I like Laura Dern. GREAT hero but would have liked to see her DO more. Leia flying through space – Aaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha! I know watching Sci-Fi our belief in reality gets suspended, but I mean REALLY? Rose = loser. Question: does Rey & Finn get together, or does Finn go for Rose? More Poe insubordination. Why doesn’t Leia just shove him out an airlock? Or use The Force to keep him in line? (These aren’t the droids you are looking for).

Episode IX – Sorry, Daisy Ridley is just not believable in this role. There have been a NUMBER of wonderful women actors who would have been MUCH better in this role. Look at all the Marvel and DC heroines. For heaven’s sake, get one of THEM; Rebecca Romijn, for instance. Kylo Ren reaching through space to grab Rey’s beads – WTF?? And their fight through space? Didn’t Han say, “The force doesn’t work that way?” Han speaking with Ben? Han has a force ghost? Or was this just a Ben hallucination? OK. Palpatine’s resurrection: This completely NEGATES the whole Darth Vader salvation from ROTJ. Didn’t the Emperor get chucked into the abyss by Darth Vader? Where’s he been all these years? Dozens of Snoke Clones? WTF? Some of this stuff is just too out of canon for me. I really liked the movie, but come on? The kiss?? WHAT?!? I thought Rey & Finn were an item. Now I’m REALLY confused. Liked the ending, “Rey Skywalker.”

Other “Star Wars” Movies:

Rogue One – The BEST. What a cast. Great writing, great story. Incredible tie-in to “A NEW HOPE.” My second favorite (after A New Hope)

Solo – Tremendous back story fill in for Han’s story. How can you NOT like Woody Harrelson’s character? And his band of thieves? I was disappointed that Qi-ra double crosses Han. Donald Glover is a EXCEPTIONAL Lando. I really enjoyed how he cheats Han out of his winnings, then Han wins the Falcon from him. Good backstory on how Han and Chewie become friends.

So, there you go. Comments and corrections encouraged and welcomed below.

Thank you for reading my blog.

P.S. Oh, did I mention the ground-breaking music?